Mac N' Cheetos: Burger King

When I saw a commercial for the new, limited time Burger King Mac n' Cheetos, I knew I had to try it for you, my readers- take one for the team.

If you haven't seen the commercials for yourself, this new menu item from the Kingdom of Burgers is advertised as a Cheeto made of macaroni and cheese, coated in Cheeto dust.

Here's the thing. I LOVE Cheetos. They are, without hyperbole, my favorite chips. I also have a deeply profound appreciation for macaroni and cheese, particularly its ability to enhance almost anything it's added to. I have successfully attempted the Mac n' Cheese Waffle Burger (let me know in the comments if you want a blog about it!), & recently had a divine experience with a mac n' cheese stuffed grilled cheese sandwich. 

So I actually held some wary optimism that this could be a successful melding of two cheesy favorites.

No such luck. For only a few more weeks, and a measly $2.50, you, too can simultaneously experience the sensation of sinking your bicuspids into a hot-yet-completely-congealed thumb sculpted from Velveeta, and licking a Cheeto-dust callous off the same thumb the likes of which can only be achieved by eating an entire family-sized bag of Cheetos with the same two fingers in one sitting without a single napkin wipe.

I'll give His Beefy Highness credit for this, these barely edible monstrosities do achieve a striking resemblance to unnervingly dense Puff Cheetos, though the seam along the outer curves bring to mind several week-old surgical scars I've had the misfortune of seeing.

The thing that sets these stubby non-appendages apart from other, more appetizing fried cheese sticks, other than the vibrantly unnatural hue of orange and the unmistakable salty flavor of processed Cheez-food, is that the cooked macaroni lends a mushy solidness that causes these dusty doodles from Hades to have the unmelted texture of not just cold Velveeta, but the distinct al dente of melted and re-congealed cold Velveeta, even when they're piping hot straight from the fryer. 

If you want to be a true and total foodie, it isn't just the unique, delicious, exotic, and gourmet food experiences that will get you your streetfood cred. There are some items on the foodie bucket list, such as Durian fruit, that you need to experience just for the sake of saying you have. I'm not saying you should try this, but I'm going to place the Burger King Mac N' Cheetos in that category to convince myself it was worth it. 

Who knows, though? If you have a secret thrill in sucking the Cheeto-dust crust off your fingers when you finish a bag, this might just be the perfect snack for you.