FrankenFood Friday: Orange Creampop Crunch

This week for #FrankenFoodFriday I took a poll on Facebook to decide whether my review would be of the new Maple Bacon Poptarts or...

...And it was a tie. So I picked the one I thought I might actually finish! Because I wish you could see the graveyard in my pantry of unfinished FrankenFoods. It's really kinda sad.

So I opened the box and was immediately hit with the aroma of an orange "Creampop", which I suspect is a branding clash because I've only ever heard them called "Creamsicles"

I actually looked forward to ripping this product to shreds about the fact that Cap'n Crunch cereal historically and infamously rips up the roof of your mouth, and so does this, but alas! Somehow for some reason, that notorious flaw in Cap'n Crunch cereals was mysteriously cured when it was made into a FrankenFood!

I also expected the flavor of the cereal to be cloying and overwhelming with an artificial orange and artificial cream flavor. I was both pleased and a bit disappointed that really, it just tasted like slightly orangey corn cereal. I was expecting the bits to be filled with some kind of cream, or for there to be some kind of little "cream" marshmallows or something to make it taste like a creampop and emphasize the gimmick, but it I guess they decided that the milk one typically uses on cereal would serve the cream function.

Finally, I thought the leftover milk might be the big creampop flavor. It was... sweetish milk that kind of reminded you of artificial oranges... and milk.

Kind of an anticlimactic tasting, really, but I was genuinely surprised that the extra sugar or something somehow eliminated that one big negative every Cap'n Crunch lover endures, walking around with a rough, scratched-up hard palate after every indulgence.

Still, in terms of FrankenFood success, I expect I'll actually finish this box of cereal, unlike those Swedish Fish Oreos, so that's a big check in the "pros" column. And it does remind you of both inspiring elements, and even arguably enhances one. It's certainly no improvement on a creampop unless you've been searching for a creampop without all that pesky wetness and coldness, but I'd argue it could easily surpass original Cap'n Crunch for people who particularly enjoy orange flavored things.

Blue Apron - Seared Chicken & Caramelized Vegetables

Check out their website!

My sister recently sent me a free trial of Blue Apron meals. The concept of Blue Apron is that they send you all of the necessary ingredients for 3 meals, already portioned out to make exactly 2 meals per recipe, along with a step-by-step recipe and guide to follow to prepare each meal. 

Initially I was most curious to see how the ingredients were packaged, since the Blue Apron website advertises the freshest of ingredients for healthy meals, and I couldn't imagine how they could keep them cool long enough to be safe to cook.

The ingredients arrived in the box shown above, all inside a sealed thermal insulated bag with two large, reusable ice packs. I didn't realize it had been delivered that day until about 3 hours after it was delivered, because my flatmate had received the package and left it on the counter amid several other boxes (we've just moved). Still, the ice packs were about 2/3 frozen!

Inside the package I found 3 recipe cards as promised:

3 packages of "knick knacks," one for each recipe:

And a cornucopia of fresh produce, proteins, packages of grains, and a can of tomatoes:

I was particularly excited to try the recipes because the sister who sent me the trial offer actually gave up her subscription just a few days before I received my box because she said the preparation took significantly longer than advertised, and not only was it not practical for a busy mother of two, but particularly so for an amateur cook. She was skeptical that even a trained chef could accomplish the meals in the advertised "30-40 minutes". Consider the challenge accepted!

I decided to work as quickly as I could with no distractions to get the most accurate idea of how long the meals would take. The first meal I tried was the Seared Chicken & Caramelized Vegetables, which also happened to be the most tempting of the three recipes provided. The pictured mise en place made it easy to figure out which ingredients were intended for the meal I was making:

The first step was to chop all the produce. As expected, this step took the longest. The instructions recommended that I first start the water boiling for the potatoes, and then begin chopping the produce, so I did that. Though I was not instructed to, I went ahead and added the potatoes to the water as soon as it began boiling, and finished slicing up the rest of the veggies to save myself a dish and make room on my chopping board. I was glad I did this because it saved a little time by overlapping tasks.

The next instruction was to coat and cook the chicken. I appreciated the beautiful cuts of meat provided in the package, which required no trimming at all. I also liked the specific instructions to help cooks of any experience level achieve a nice crust and sear. 

What I didn't appreciate was that the necessary ingredients weren't 100% provided. At first I thought it was just a bit inconvenient that they took for granted that you would have salt and pepper in your kitchen and not provide it. It's an understandable assumption, really, but I would have appreciated something somewhere in my order mentioning the need to have essential ingredients stocked, especially because in my case I had intentionally timed my delivery to be the day after we moved in so that I wouldn't have to worry about grocery shopping or getting the pantry/spices unpacked right away. Furthermore, it turned out that in order to cook the chicken I needed olive oil. In addition to my reasons above, I don't actually believe that amateur home cooks necessarily consider olive oil to be a kitchen staple, and they may not understand food science well enough to know what to substitute. It just seems to me that it wouldn't be too difficult for them to either list additional essentials the cook needs to provide for themselves in the confirmation email, or in the package, or just include a little bottle of olive oil and a little baggie of seasonings in the knick knacks.

The next steps were mashing the potatoes (pretty easy), and setting up the tomatoes and thyme to roast. Again I needed Olive oil, and I think they could have included a sentence about how to remove leaves from thyme. It seems like one goal of Blue Apron is to encourage people who don't know how to cook to learn to do so, and it would have been helpful to teach them that step.

Next I caramelized the veggies in the same skillet that I cooked the chicken in. I did appreciate Blue Apron's attempts to reuse skillets, though they still used 3 cooking pans and 3 plates, not including the plates the food was served on and the cutting board. 

It was at this point, however, that (as I suspected would happen but I followed the directions exactly to make my review completely fair) my smoke alarm went off because the "roasting" tomatoes and thyme caused the thyme to burn. Any time you put a dry herb at high temperatures without mixing it with something or wetting it or something, that's likely to occur. Moreover, I was a bit annoyed at this step, because I feel like I could have just as easily blistered my tomatoes in the mashed potato pan or even the skillet I cooked the veggies in really quickly on a high heat after plating- the thyme added nothing but aroma. So that step felt extraneous and an unnecessary hassle between the extra dirtied pan and the smoke. 

Here was my finished product before plating:

I have to say it looked exactly like the photos, even down to the cut and sear of the chicken; Blue Apron really does set you up to be able to succeed at these recipes.

I'd rank the kitchen and dish aftermath at about a 6.5; it wasn't as bad as baking with five year olds, but it wasn't a one-pot wonder either.

I took screen shots of the counter when I started cooking and when I finished cooking to get an accurate and impartial measure of how long it took me to make this meal from start to finish:

That was 11:44-12:46, so 62 minutes from start to finish. Even subtracting 2 minutes for posing the plate and pulling out my phone, and even subtracting 2 minutes for fanning the smoke detector (though I really think it should count because I think it was their method error that caused the smoke in the first place), I still took 8-18 minutes longer than the given prep/cook times. That includes the fact that on the recipe, prep time and cook time are listed separately and add up to 40-50 minutes, though all over the website and advertisements it's indicated that these are 30-40 minute recipes. In general and especially in the case of something that is claiming to help people make cooking at home easier to pull off, I think it is more important to give an honest indication of prep AND cook time, rather than playing semantics games "well it only takes 30 minutes to cook!" because ultimately the customer is going to go off of your recommendations and set aside that amount of time for prepping and cooking.

8-18 minutes longer, and I'm a professional, trained chef. Someone less experienced, even with zero outside distractions, would likely take 10-20 minutes longer to prepare this meal.

Ultimately it was delicious. It was super guilt-free, and I never would have prepared it without Blue Apron. In fact, this recipe cured me of a strong dislike of fennel!

So I think it's worth a try for most people, just set aside a little extra time and realize that the main benefits gained are healthier food, less grocery shopping hassle, added variety to your diet, and a LOT  less waste. To me, that's actually pretty worth the price of about $10 per serving.

My biggest feedback for Blue Apron if they see this review is this: 

1) Include a list of ANY ingredients provided by the customer (water, oil, salt, pepper)
2) Include a list of tools used in the recipe (knife, cutting board, extra plates, skillets, pots, paper towels)
3) Be a bit more realistic about cook times- not how fast a chef that's made the dish before can do it, but a normal, every-day cook who's never seen the recipe
4) Consider offering limited ingredient substitution options
5) Embrace your position as an educational subscription for new cooks, and provide basic food safety facts and tips in or on each box- you take for granted that home cooks know not to cross-contaminate, and to wash their hands after handling raw meat. Don't. You're uniquely able to make everyone a little healthier and safer.

Pros:
Super Healthy
Super Delicious
Low Hassle
Nearly Eliminated food waste
Variety
Adventure
Pretty Fun
Perfect for dieting or trying to eat at home more often- very motivational

Cons:
Literally every ingredient is not provided
Moderate to high number of dishes used
Takes about an Hour
Lots of prep
No room for pickiness

My last recommendations if you try Blue Apron is to consider the recipe and instructions like an SAT reading prep course. It's the ultimate test of reading comprehension and application. I think I might have sped up my meal just a tiny bit if I had read all the instructions completely, from start to finish, before I started cooking, so that I wouldn't have to stop between each step to know what was coming next. Some of that was my desire to execute it exactly as it was intended so that my review could be completely fair- but a novice cook would likely put as much care if not more into reading the directions, too. You also might consider pre-prepping your veggies on like a Sunday evening so that you can just pull them out when you're ready to cook. That would cut back significantly on your execution time before serving the meals.

All in all, I will likely get my own subscription for Blue Apron as soon as I can budget it.

And please share/retweet this review and tag @BlueApron to encourage them to acknowledge the feedback please!

FrankenFood Friday: Lays Potato Chips

IT'S FRANKENFOOD FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!

That's right, it's that time at the end of each week when I subject myself to some strange melding of two independent food items into one delicious or disgusting new dish.

For this week's Frankenfood Friday, I decided to explore the Lays "Do Us A Flavor" winner from some year previous and two of the new "Passport to Flavor" chip varieties this year. The ones available at my local store included the Chinese Szechuan Chicken, the Brazilian Picanha, and the Southern Biscuits & Gravy.

First up was the Szechuan Chicken, which I was pretty excited about because I *LOVE* "Asian" food (even when it is some American "fusion" that no longer resembles actual Asian food in the slightest- I don't discriminate!)

I found that right off the bat it definitely tasted like Chinese food, so they hit that one on the head. But it was so salty, and so strongly flavored, I kept feeling like I was eating seasoned dry ramen, and after about 4 chips in a row my mouth felt like I'd just taken the seasoning packet from a $0.44 ramen package and dumped it into my mouth. 

Ultimately, they're not bad, but I probably won't finish them and I definitely won't buy them again.

The next flavor I tried was the Brazilian Picanha. It was supposed to taste like steak & chimichurri sauce, which are staples of Brazilian restaurant menus.

These were pretty darn good. The first taste that hit my tongue was that of green vegetables. No specific ones came to mind, just kind of a salsa of very healthy vegetables. It was towards the end of chewing and after swallowing that I got a sort of savory, beefy steak flavor, which was extremely subtle but pleasant. I had actually expected these to be overly steak- flavored and not unlike chips made from bouillon cubes or something, but it was a really good balance. Most telling, though, was that later in the night I had all three of the tasting plates out for my husband and I to snack from, and I finished off this plate before touching the other two. The Steak & Chimichurri combination has that morishness that's expected from a good potato chip, and the flavor is strong, distinct, but not an assault on the senses. 

Finally I tasted the Biscuits & Gravy. I was most nervous about this one, because while I LOVE biscuits and gravy as a dish, I felt like even if Lays managed to successfully translate the flavor to the chip, I wasn't sure that somehow the flavor of gravy in a dry form wouldn't ruin the flavor of biscuits & gravy for me forever. I actually hesitated to spend my money on them because I didn't think I'd like them, so my generous and not at all sadistic friend Diana bought them for me to ensure I wouldn't miss out on this unique frankenfood opportunity.

The first taste proved to taste... exactly like gravy. It was very strange to taste something that should be thick and wet as a seasoned, crunchy chip. As I chewed, there came the biscuit. I somehow expected it to basically taste like potato chips and gravy, but those mad scientists at Frito Lay actually made the dadgum thing taste like a BISCUIT, too! It mostly tasted of butter, but it definitely tasted like the canned biscuit dough biscuits that I happen to love. I didn't think I would go back for more, even though the flavor wasn't bad, because it was just so weird, but I realized later on that while it's almost off-puttingly accurate in flavor when you're paying attention to what you're tasting, they're totally munchable while you're watching X-Files or painting your toenails. When I went back for a taste after the official tasting was over and I was focused on cooking dinner, I didn't mind them at all, & we eventually polished the tasting plate off. Still, they're best for distracted snacking, and in that case, so is a plain potato chip. To me it's not really worth buying again when there are flavors out there that I actually crave.

The only flavor we weren't inclined to go back for was the Chinese Szechuan Chicken, which was really only unsuccessful in the intensity of the flavor and the impossible to ignore mental picture of dumping Ramen seasoning packets into my mouth. I know for a fact we'll be finishing off the Brazillian Picanha chips, and I highly recommend them if you're looking for a little adventure. The Biscuits and Gravy were pretty good, and we might even finish them off before they go stale, but I personally probably won't buy them again because I think it's just... well, it's like taking biscuits and gravy and adding potatoes. If Biscuits and gravy needed anything added to them it's not another heavy starch. Somehow that translates to the flavors, too- not bad, but a little too rich and bland at the same time. I think it might have been a total hit if it had been "Sausage Biscuit", and had a stronger sausage flavor with that odd undercurrent of biscuit, but gravy is too subtle. Just not craveable, though still worth tasting.

The best success of the Lay's Frankenfoods remains the Bacon Mac & Cheese from a few years ago, which I have actually spontaneously craved, and gone to purchase again several times. And that's really the best measure of a great chip, isn't it?

What do you think of these flavors? Are you brave enough to try them? If you already have, what did you think? Do you agree with me? Let me know in the comments! And let me know if there's anything you'd like to see me try for the next FrankenFood Friday- I need ideas!

Original Pancake House

Check out their Website                                                                             Locations

I had been to Original Pancake House before, but had never paid much attention to the menu, defaulting to whatever I happened to be craving that day and paying closer attention to my companions than the food. However, after getting into a kind of hilarious exchange with the OPH Twitter account, I wanted to go back and pay attention to its merits as a restaurant. 

When we arrived at the restaurant on a Sunday at lunch time, there was a fairly significant wait. This merely told me that Original Pancake House is the place to go when you're craving brunch after church or after waking up late on a Sunday morning.

Their menu is similar to many other places such as IHOP that specialize in breakfasts and pancakes, however OPH also features a few extremely special and unique items, including the Dutch Baby and their signature Apple Pancake. It is also worth noting that while the fare is similar in type, it is significantly higher quality than places such as IHOP and Waffle House. (Don't get me wrong, those places aren't bad most of the time, but better known for their 24 hour service than the quality of their food.) My eating companions and I managed to order a decent variety of menu items between us:

Dad:

Me:

My husband:

My grandma:

My mom:

I stole a bite from my mom's crepe, but I mostly tucked in to my massive stack of chocolate chip pancakes. I was a tad disappointed when the arrived because the waitress had described them as "Chocolate with chocolate chips" so I had expected a decadent chocolate pancake punctuated with chocolate chips, setting it apart from the standard chocolate chip pancakes offered at other establishments. Yet when they arrived, they were plain pancakes with chocolate chips. Still, as soon as they were set before me I noted a distinct smell that I only ever pick up from really well made pancakes: baking soda. 

I can't even explain why this scent is so strongly correlated with excellent pancakes, but it has been my consistent observation of that familiar, almost yeasty scent steaming up from my plate that has accompanied the best piles of pancakes, and while it's not yeast, I do think it's the leavening. I think part of it is that if you can smell the baking soda, it's not generally an overly sugary pancake. Pancakes should be a vessel for sugar, not confections in themselves.

I wanted to try one of the signature dishes, but did not order them for my lunch because I was unsure whether I would actually like the Apple Pancake (I am very picky about cooked apple chunks in my food) and was wary of taking the risk for the price. My dad suggested we order one for the table so that we could all try it for the first time.

It was piping hot, sticky, gooey, custard-like, sweet yet balanced, and the apples were sliced consistently, cooked well, and in perfect proportion to the cake beneath. It looked like an overabundance of cinnamon upon first glance, but it actually balanced well with the rest of the dish.

Even after all of us had eaten a hearty lunch, the 5 of us managed to finish off almost the entire mound:

Original Pancake House also features a full coffee bar with a wide variety of syrups and an industrial espresso machine. They are not messing around with their coffee.

All in all, if you have never been to Original Pancake House, it is worth a visit. If you've been but have never tried one of their signature dishes, I strongly recommend you try them. 

Henry's Ice Cream: The Best Ever?

Check out their website                                                                        Locations

My husband has been really getting into helping me come up with new places to review, and one of the first places he mentioned was Henry's Ice Cream.

The first thing I noticed was the nostalgic, old fashioned feel of the place. I felt like I had just walked into like Pop's from Archie comics or something, an unadulterated chunk of timeless innocence. But sentimental prose aside, this place was AUTHENTIC and beautifully unpretentious.

The second thing I noticed, as it was impossible to ignore, was that the line wrapped around the room and every table was full. It was an exceptionally hot evening, and the air conditioning was struggling to keep up with the shoulder to shoulder body heat of the patrons and the nonstop opening of the doors as more people streamed in, but that didn't deter anyone from waiting in the long line for their icy treats.

Whether it was intended to provide a pass-time for people in line or just a reflection of the owner's sense of humor, I found myself chuckling at the various signs around the place. I'd never thought about an ice cream cone being a completely eco-friendly vessel.

The flavors of the day were listed on a handwritten menu sign, and I was intrigued by the "Dino Egg" flavor, wondering why it was specifically "Dino Egg" and not just "Dino". Are dinosaur eggs known to be bright blue?

 I nearly ordered that flavor just to find out, but then I got a taste of the Vanilla/Chocolate Sprinkle Cake and couldn't resist it. 

Little side note, even their tasting spoons are eco-friendly!

I regret to say I noticed the pretzel cone after I had placed my order, but now you and I are both prepared for that option next time we're there, so the speed of the line won't deprive us of such a unique, salty confectionary twist.

I felt I would be depriving you of a truly extensive review if I didn't try at least two flavors, so I took one for the team and got a double scoop with the "Henry & Caroline's Wedding Cake". It may have been two flavors, but it looked like 3 scoops to me:

My husband was going to try a third flavor, but he, too, succumbed to the Vanilla/Chocolate Sprinkle Cake's siren call. Something about those rainbow jimmies is just totally irresistible!

What it all comes down to, though, is the ice cream. This is one of those moments where my positive impression of the product exceeds my vocabulary. This ice cream was perfectly balanced, with a permeating flavor of fresh heavy cream and a subtle sweetness that didn't overpower my palate. The creaminess was so authentic and fresh it left a slight layer of pleasant butteriness coating my mouth for a minute or so after I finished it. My exact words when giving my first impressions to my husband were "like it was taken directly from the udder of an Arctic Cow 5 minutes ago", which is gross but vividly embdies the freshness of the flavor. The cones tasted freshly made, and the smell throughout the shop confirmed my suspicions. Keep in mind that fresh, in-house-made ice cream cones often leak out the bottom, so pay attention to the bottom of your cone so you don't lose a single drop of Henry's excellence. 

I hope my overall foodiness, sugar addiction, and credentials as a Four Seasoned Pastry Chef sufficiently amplify the significance of the following statement when I say:

This is the best ice cream I have ever eaten, PERIOD. And ice cream is my favorite dessert. It is even better than the best ice cream I have ever made, and I am sinfully prideful about my own ice cream recipe.

YOU MUST TRY THEM! The quality and standards at Henry's Ice Cream is singular.

And bonus, if you need something more savory, Henry's sells super affordable and high quality hot dogs from local deli/butcher Hirsch's Specialty Meats, who I look forward to reviewing sometime in the next few weeks.