FrankenFood Friday: Orange Creampop Crunch

This week for #FrankenFoodFriday I took a poll on Facebook to decide whether my review would be of the new Maple Bacon Poptarts or...

...And it was a tie. So I picked the one I thought I might actually finish! Because I wish you could see the graveyard in my pantry of unfinished FrankenFoods. It's really kinda sad.

So I opened the box and was immediately hit with the aroma of an orange "Creampop", which I suspect is a branding clash because I've only ever heard them called "Creamsicles"

I actually looked forward to ripping this product to shreds about the fact that Cap'n Crunch cereal historically and infamously rips up the roof of your mouth, and so does this, but alas! Somehow for some reason, that notorious flaw in Cap'n Crunch cereals was mysteriously cured when it was made into a FrankenFood!

I also expected the flavor of the cereal to be cloying and overwhelming with an artificial orange and artificial cream flavor. I was both pleased and a bit disappointed that really, it just tasted like slightly orangey corn cereal. I was expecting the bits to be filled with some kind of cream, or for there to be some kind of little "cream" marshmallows or something to make it taste like a creampop and emphasize the gimmick, but it I guess they decided that the milk one typically uses on cereal would serve the cream function.

Finally, I thought the leftover milk might be the big creampop flavor. It was... sweetish milk that kind of reminded you of artificial oranges... and milk.

Kind of an anticlimactic tasting, really, but I was genuinely surprised that the extra sugar or something somehow eliminated that one big negative every Cap'n Crunch lover endures, walking around with a rough, scratched-up hard palate after every indulgence.

Still, in terms of FrankenFood success, I expect I'll actually finish this box of cereal, unlike those Swedish Fish Oreos, so that's a big check in the "pros" column. And it does remind you of both inspiring elements, and even arguably enhances one. It's certainly no improvement on a creampop unless you've been searching for a creampop without all that pesky wetness and coldness, but I'd argue it could easily surpass original Cap'n Crunch for people who particularly enjoy orange flavored things.

Blue Apron - Seared Chicken & Caramelized Vegetables

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My sister recently sent me a free trial of Blue Apron meals. The concept of Blue Apron is that they send you all of the necessary ingredients for 3 meals, already portioned out to make exactly 2 meals per recipe, along with a step-by-step recipe and guide to follow to prepare each meal. 

Initially I was most curious to see how the ingredients were packaged, since the Blue Apron website advertises the freshest of ingredients for healthy meals, and I couldn't imagine how they could keep them cool long enough to be safe to cook.

The ingredients arrived in the box shown above, all inside a sealed thermal insulated bag with two large, reusable ice packs. I didn't realize it had been delivered that day until about 3 hours after it was delivered, because my flatmate had received the package and left it on the counter amid several other boxes (we've just moved). Still, the ice packs were about 2/3 frozen!

Inside the package I found 3 recipe cards as promised:

3 packages of "knick knacks," one for each recipe:

And a cornucopia of fresh produce, proteins, packages of grains, and a can of tomatoes:

I was particularly excited to try the recipes because the sister who sent me the trial offer actually gave up her subscription just a few days before I received my box because she said the preparation took significantly longer than advertised, and not only was it not practical for a busy mother of two, but particularly so for an amateur cook. She was skeptical that even a trained chef could accomplish the meals in the advertised "30-40 minutes". Consider the challenge accepted!

I decided to work as quickly as I could with no distractions to get the most accurate idea of how long the meals would take. The first meal I tried was the Seared Chicken & Caramelized Vegetables, which also happened to be the most tempting of the three recipes provided. The pictured mise en place made it easy to figure out which ingredients were intended for the meal I was making:

The first step was to chop all the produce. As expected, this step took the longest. The instructions recommended that I first start the water boiling for the potatoes, and then begin chopping the produce, so I did that. Though I was not instructed to, I went ahead and added the potatoes to the water as soon as it began boiling, and finished slicing up the rest of the veggies to save myself a dish and make room on my chopping board. I was glad I did this because it saved a little time by overlapping tasks.

The next instruction was to coat and cook the chicken. I appreciated the beautiful cuts of meat provided in the package, which required no trimming at all. I also liked the specific instructions to help cooks of any experience level achieve a nice crust and sear. 

What I didn't appreciate was that the necessary ingredients weren't 100% provided. At first I thought it was just a bit inconvenient that they took for granted that you would have salt and pepper in your kitchen and not provide it. It's an understandable assumption, really, but I would have appreciated something somewhere in my order mentioning the need to have essential ingredients stocked, especially because in my case I had intentionally timed my delivery to be the day after we moved in so that I wouldn't have to worry about grocery shopping or getting the pantry/spices unpacked right away. Furthermore, it turned out that in order to cook the chicken I needed olive oil. In addition to my reasons above, I don't actually believe that amateur home cooks necessarily consider olive oil to be a kitchen staple, and they may not understand food science well enough to know what to substitute. It just seems to me that it wouldn't be too difficult for them to either list additional essentials the cook needs to provide for themselves in the confirmation email, or in the package, or just include a little bottle of olive oil and a little baggie of seasonings in the knick knacks.

The next steps were mashing the potatoes (pretty easy), and setting up the tomatoes and thyme to roast. Again I needed Olive oil, and I think they could have included a sentence about how to remove leaves from thyme. It seems like one goal of Blue Apron is to encourage people who don't know how to cook to learn to do so, and it would have been helpful to teach them that step.

Next I caramelized the veggies in the same skillet that I cooked the chicken in. I did appreciate Blue Apron's attempts to reuse skillets, though they still used 3 cooking pans and 3 plates, not including the plates the food was served on and the cutting board. 

It was at this point, however, that (as I suspected would happen but I followed the directions exactly to make my review completely fair) my smoke alarm went off because the "roasting" tomatoes and thyme caused the thyme to burn. Any time you put a dry herb at high temperatures without mixing it with something or wetting it or something, that's likely to occur. Moreover, I was a bit annoyed at this step, because I feel like I could have just as easily blistered my tomatoes in the mashed potato pan or even the skillet I cooked the veggies in really quickly on a high heat after plating- the thyme added nothing but aroma. So that step felt extraneous and an unnecessary hassle between the extra dirtied pan and the smoke. 

Here was my finished product before plating:

I have to say it looked exactly like the photos, even down to the cut and sear of the chicken; Blue Apron really does set you up to be able to succeed at these recipes.

I'd rank the kitchen and dish aftermath at about a 6.5; it wasn't as bad as baking with five year olds, but it wasn't a one-pot wonder either.

I took screen shots of the counter when I started cooking and when I finished cooking to get an accurate and impartial measure of how long it took me to make this meal from start to finish:

That was 11:44-12:46, so 62 minutes from start to finish. Even subtracting 2 minutes for posing the plate and pulling out my phone, and even subtracting 2 minutes for fanning the smoke detector (though I really think it should count because I think it was their method error that caused the smoke in the first place), I still took 8-18 minutes longer than the given prep/cook times. That includes the fact that on the recipe, prep time and cook time are listed separately and add up to 40-50 minutes, though all over the website and advertisements it's indicated that these are 30-40 minute recipes. In general and especially in the case of something that is claiming to help people make cooking at home easier to pull off, I think it is more important to give an honest indication of prep AND cook time, rather than playing semantics games "well it only takes 30 minutes to cook!" because ultimately the customer is going to go off of your recommendations and set aside that amount of time for prepping and cooking.

8-18 minutes longer, and I'm a professional, trained chef. Someone less experienced, even with zero outside distractions, would likely take 10-20 minutes longer to prepare this meal.

Ultimately it was delicious. It was super guilt-free, and I never would have prepared it without Blue Apron. In fact, this recipe cured me of a strong dislike of fennel!

So I think it's worth a try for most people, just set aside a little extra time and realize that the main benefits gained are healthier food, less grocery shopping hassle, added variety to your diet, and a LOT  less waste. To me, that's actually pretty worth the price of about $10 per serving.

My biggest feedback for Blue Apron if they see this review is this: 

1) Include a list of ANY ingredients provided by the customer (water, oil, salt, pepper)
2) Include a list of tools used in the recipe (knife, cutting board, extra plates, skillets, pots, paper towels)
3) Be a bit more realistic about cook times- not how fast a chef that's made the dish before can do it, but a normal, every-day cook who's never seen the recipe
4) Consider offering limited ingredient substitution options
5) Embrace your position as an educational subscription for new cooks, and provide basic food safety facts and tips in or on each box- you take for granted that home cooks know not to cross-contaminate, and to wash their hands after handling raw meat. Don't. You're uniquely able to make everyone a little healthier and safer.

Pros:
Super Healthy
Super Delicious
Low Hassle
Nearly Eliminated food waste
Variety
Adventure
Pretty Fun
Perfect for dieting or trying to eat at home more often- very motivational

Cons:
Literally every ingredient is not provided
Moderate to high number of dishes used
Takes about an Hour
Lots of prep
No room for pickiness

My last recommendations if you try Blue Apron is to consider the recipe and instructions like an SAT reading prep course. It's the ultimate test of reading comprehension and application. I think I might have sped up my meal just a tiny bit if I had read all the instructions completely, from start to finish, before I started cooking, so that I wouldn't have to stop between each step to know what was coming next. Some of that was my desire to execute it exactly as it was intended so that my review could be completely fair- but a novice cook would likely put as much care if not more into reading the directions, too. You also might consider pre-prepping your veggies on like a Sunday evening so that you can just pull them out when you're ready to cook. That would cut back significantly on your execution time before serving the meals.

All in all, I will likely get my own subscription for Blue Apron as soon as I can budget it.

And please share/retweet this review and tag @BlueApron to encourage them to acknowledge the feedback please!

Community Life at First Church

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Some of my readers may have begun to wonder whether I cook anywhere myself- you might even be curious to try something I've made! Well the answer is yes. While I am currently in an early retirement from cooking professionally, I couldn't resist the siren call of the oven, and so every week during the school year I volunteer my skills at my church, First Church Carrollton, for their weekly community supper. While I do help collaborate for ideas, my mom is actually the Head Chef in the kitchen, while I mostly focus on desserts and support alongside an amazing group of volunteers. 

Together we have worked to far surpass people's expectation of "cafeteria-style" meals, doing almost every meal from scratch, using real potatoes in the mashed potatoes, homemade dough for the pizzas, and coming up with new techniques to get a more home-style, authentic flavor and texture in enormous quantities without sacrificing quality. Among those who have been attending the dinners regularly for the last year, it has become a happy secret how much like a hearty home-cooked meal the Community Life supper is.

Did I mention this meal is free? It's become a real life-saver to some of the busy parents who bring their families to the suppers because they can ensure a healthy, homestyle meal for their kids between all their activities.

For example, last week for the kick-off, my mom was inspired to make a take on chicken-fried chicken and biscuits. 

Now, we don't have a fryer of any kind in our kitchen, and chicken-fried chicken isn't meant to be deep fried anyway, but while we pulled off chicken fried chicken last semester, it was a huge mess and a close call for timing. So we came up with a new way to do cafeteria-quantity chicken-fried chicken with limited space by heating a thin layer of oil in sheet pans in the oven, and then frying the chicken in the oven in that oil! It was excellent, even if I might call it oven-fried chicken from this point forward.

Every Community Life supper also features a gluten free version of whatever that evening's meal is:

In fact, we accommodate most food allergies or medical dietary restrictions with a week's notice! We've even been known to come up with something on the fly once or twice when an obscure allergy popped up.

As I said, my specialty is the dessert. You're not going to find any store-bought cookies at Community Life! Last year I took great pleasure in breaking out several recipes from my time at the 4 Seasons, including Caramel apples in October,

...Chai Cheesecake Pumpkin Pie in November...

...authentic Sticky Toffee Date Pudding in December, layered Chocolate Brownie Trifle with hand-made chocolate mousse... 

...individual Spiced Peach-Berry Pies a la mode...

...and all of my personal best cookie recipes, warm from the oven.

The meals match and even exceed the quality and variety of the desserts in every way. Again not only is every meal completely or mostly made from scratch, but we're not talking mystery meat and nacho cheese, here. Some of the meals served at Community Life suppers include Fajitas, smoked ribs, a large scale take on Boeuf Bourguignon (my all time, hands-down, number one favorite dish of all time), the famously best homemade pizza, POT ROAST and so much more.

And BEST OF ALL it's FREE. Donations are welcome, but not enforced.

The catch you ask? As it is a community supper you're encouraged to sit with some of the other diners and get to know your community, and you're welcome to stick around for any of the Wednesday night activities at the church after dinner, including choir, Youth group, kids stuff, and adult classes and bible studies. There is even daycare provided until 8!

So if you want a great meal for the best possible price, come check it out! Everyone is welcome. I'll review tonight's Scotland-inspired meal next week, but it'll be:

Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Spiced Applesauce

Stuffing

Cole Slaw

French Fries

A Choice of Chocolate & Classic Snickerdoodles

FrankenFood Friday: Swedish Fish Oreos

I got a request from a reader to review the limited time Swedish Fish flavored Oreos, so duty called and I answered!

The first thing I noticed upon opening the package was the distinct scent of Swedish Fish. I was surprised how accurately the Oreo mad scientists managed to replicate the olfactory experience of opening a package of Swedish Fish candy, but then, the odd-flavored Oreos have always been uncanny in their accuracy, the question is always whether the flavor should be turned into frosting.

I also had my husband taste-test these because he is actually a HUGE fan of Swedish Fish, whereas I can take them or leave them. 

The verdict? Well my husband didn't even finish his first cookie. I think it weirded him out. The flavor of the frosting was spot. on. but Swedish Fish is definitely one of those things that associates a flavor with a texture, and when you move it like this to a different medium, it's kind of off-putting. Interestingly, as someone with an indifference to the original candy, I didn't mind the cookies. They're yet again an interesting thing to try but not an improvement on either contributing element. Moreover, I realized through tasting the frosting on its own what exactly the Swedish Fish flavor is. I had always figured it was some weird play on artificial cherry because of the color, but somehow the new texture made me recognize that it's more of a combination of bubblegum and artificial banana flavoring. Amazing how my taste buds can be so easily be stumped by the color of the candy!

Anyway, if you LOVE Swedish Fish, I think this is worth trying- but don't buy out the store- this is one of those bucket list experiences you only need to try once.

And by the way, I had trouble finding these in the 5 stores I checked for them, so I finally ordered them online for $10! I love writing this blog and I will continue to review all the new places and items I try, and if you have suggestions I encourage you to let me know in the comments or tweet me @writingchef, but if you would like to see more variety, more wacky and potentially regrettable items, or a wider range of restaurants featured here, consider donating to this blog with the new PayPal button to the right! I'll only use the proceeds to improve the breadth and quality of the reviews on this blog.

Ida Claire

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My husband came home several months ago totally jazzed about a restaurant he had discovered during a work lunch that he couldn't wait to take me to. We went together shortly before I launched this blog and I vowed to go back soon to review it.

Ida Claire is gourmet southern cooking at its finest. The ambiance and decor are upcycled hipster paradise, with the most notable feature being the open trailer seating option on the patio.

Ida Claire offers a deluxe variety of craft beers and beverages to pair with its rich, comforting fare.

For an appetizer, we ordered the biscuits and bacon gravy:

The biscuits were fresh, crumbly and layered, and came not only with a meaty bacon gravy, but also an in-house-made huckleberry & something else jam, and a black pepper & sorghum butter spread. The butter changed my life. I have worked maybe once with sorghum before, but showcased as the star in a simple butter spread, I was entranced with the floral, citrus-zest flavor that's derived from a grass!

The first time I ate at Ida Claire, my husband urged me to try the Chicken and Waffles dish. Upon returning, it took all my willpower to order something else so that I could do a varied review, but I was able to get a photo of our friend's order of the chicken and waffles. When I tried it, I was there with my family, and my mom also ordered it at my husband's recommendation. We were both hesitant to trust that the eggs in the dish would be properly cooked, because so often sunny side up eggs come out with more than the yolks raw. Still, we decided to trust the chef and didn't change the eggs to over-medium. As AMAZING as this dish was, both of our eggs were too raw, with clear, gooey whites surrounding the yolks beneath the top layer of cooked white. All in all, however, don't let this deter you from trying this exceptional dish- I just recommend you ask for your eggs to be cooked to medium.

The waffle is actually made from a batter into which bacon bits have been folded, then it is drizzled with a coffee syrup, the runny eggs, perfectly fried pieces of white meat chicken, and finished off with a generous serving of the signature Ida Claire gravy.

All in all, Ida Claire's chef did an amazing job of mingling and blending the textural and flavoring elements of this dish, giving you that hit of crunch, bread, soft eggs, fatty yolks, rich gravy, sweet syrup, and chewy bacon bits.

My husband ordered the Braised Beef Short Rib, which I stole a few bites of. The sauce in this dish was so well developed and complex, it married the bitter broccolini, acidic tomatoes, the sweet carrots, and the savory, tender meat perfectly together to make this heavy red meat & gravy dish easy to polish off.

I went out on a limb (for you my readers) and ordered the Fish n' Chips Biscuit with a side of the cheesy grits, even though my heart was still calling out for the chicken & waffles. Had I been feeling more flush that evening, I would have loved to have tried the shrimp and grits dish; I have many strong opinions too wordy to include in this blog about the price of a decent plate of shrimp & grits in this town, but I may have to make some sometime and post a recipe blog if anyone is interested.

Anyway, the biscuit arrived in a glorious tower of shredded, raw Brussels sprouts, rich house-made tartar sauce, 2 large, thick pieces of perfectly breaded and fried fish, and I suspect some kind of peppered butter on the biscuit itself. My memory fails me at the moment, but I believe there was also some of the same black pepper gravy on the dish that is on the chicken and waffles. The meal was enormous and excellent, though it did require some deconstruction. The "sandwich" was probably over 6 inches tall fully assembled. The creamy, tangy tartar sauce and hot fish were a perfect marriage with the cold, bitter Brussels sprouts, but the entire dish begged for some kind of acid to provide relief from the weight and richness of fried/tartar sauce/biscuit/maybe-gravy intensity. I'm aware I didn't help myself in ordering the richest, heaviest side dish Ida Claire offers, but it still would have benefited immensely from some fresh lemon juice.

The grits were PERFECT. They balanced the cheese and a bit of garlic well, not losing the flavor or texture of the grits themselves, and I actually didn't even mind the chives, even though I often find them to be an obnoxious, overused garnish that people seem to add too often without considering the intense flavor they add to a dish.

My conclusions about Ida Claire are as follows: They're charming, and a very special place to go for brunch. Expect a wait, however, as their excellence is no secret. Try the Chicken and Waffles, it's still my favorite dish, but if you're picky about your eggs, don't be afraid to change the way they're cooked- it's not one of those times when you're dramatically changing the intention of the dish by making a change like that. The braised meat dishes are also outtasite, and overall it's a great place for a hearty brunch. Just make sure you go good and hungry. I'll also point out that this place has a reasonable price point that's about double most of the places I review, so consider this a bit of a nicer option.