Homemade: Monty Toast-o sandwich

The fun part about cooking for yourself and eating at home is that you get a chance to be creative, and try to simplify the dishes you love at restaurants. When you succeed, you save yourself money, time, and even hassle if you have kids.

I, for one, am a HUGE fan of the Monte Cristo sandwich. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Monte Cristo, it's a sandwich containing cheese, usually two kinds, either cheddar and swiss or cheddar and american, turkey, and ham, and then the whole sandwich is battered and deep fried. 

While I've actually made the real Monte Cristo at home before, it was a HUGE mess between the frying and the battering, not to mention decadently calorific. So I came up with something that would satisfy much the same cravings that is a lot cleaner and simpler.

First, I took 4 Hawaiian rolls, sliced them in half...

...And put turkey and cheddar on them. I didn't happen to have ham, but if you desire to get as close as possible to the real thing, you'll need that.

Then I warmed them in my toaster and sliced them into 4. I ended up adding about 15 seconds in the microwave to get the cheese totally melted without over-toasting the bread. I ate them with raspberry preserves...

But when I tried it again the next day, I actually spread mixed berry cream cheese onto the bread before warming the sandwich. It was EXCELLENT and I highly recommend the addition. Even with the cream cheese this is significantly more virtuous than a deep fried, battered sandwich (not that there's anything wrong with indulging every now and then).

This simple sandwich was additionally inspired by an easy meal my mom serves, where she takes a whole Hawaiian bread loaf, slices it cross-wise into 3 sections, and layers pepperjack cheese and turkey on the bottom section, inside the pan it comes in, then places the middle bread section on top, then layers cheddar and ham on top of the middle section, then sandwiches the top onto it, wraps it in foil and warms it in the oven. Just slice it like a pie and serve! It's a super hearty, warm, salty-sweet sandwich.

This is excellent with a little mustard or even raspberry jam (NOT both), and if you don't like spicy, you can totally use swiss cheese, or even mozzerella, instead of pepperjack. 

Homemade: Chick Flick Salad

Early in my college career, during a break, I got together with some friends to console one of them who had just gone through a nasty breakup. Since High School, we'd had a little  tradition for dealing with breakups and other major disappointments that played out similarly to those drinking games where people take a shot for every certain occurrence in a particular movie. We, however, being underage and not really much for drinking anyway, played the game with candy. 

The rules were simple: one M&M or Skittle or whatever candy you fancied for every mention of chocolate or candy while we watched Willy Wonka and/or Chocolate until you were so euphoric from sugar, chocolate endorphins, companionship, and Johnny Depp's face, that your sorrows were thoroughly banished.

During one such escapade, one of us had the brilliant idea to dump all the candy into the popcorn bowl, so that the hard candy-coated chocolate treats were deliciously melted inside, and we could have salty-sweet handfuls with fruity, chocolatey, and crunchy confections. I believe that first time, we also tossed in some goldfish crackers for good measure.

"Don't worry!" I told them, "it's basically just a salad- there's corn, which is a vegetable, and fruit snacks, lots of color, and the goldfish are like croutons- totally not bad for you!"

And with that, Chick Flick Salad was born. 

For several years, Chick Flick Salad remained a special concoction reserved only for moments of sadness, like the last night before my best friend moved to another country for 4 years, or my other friend moved to yet another country for 2, or again, breakups.

In fact, I had one friend who learned of this tradition when we invited her to partake after a breakup of her own, and I honestly suspect she might have actually dated a few guys just so that she could "break up" with them after one or two dates so that we could have a Chick Flick Salad party. I mostly say this because the conversations after those breakups usually went something like "I broke up with so-and-so.... can we do a breakup party? Make sure there's peanut butter M&M's!"

I told her we could have parties without a breakup preceding them, but the point here is definitely that this salad works emotional miracles.

There's little to the recipe for Chick Flick Salad, and it's open to liberal interpretation- a friend of mine who is allergic to corn used lentil chips instead of popcorn last time- but there are a few guidelines to make yours most successful:

1) Any chocolates need to be candy-coated- otherwise you just get a mess of melty, chocolatey popcorn. Which isn't so bad, but is distracting and messy.

2) If possible, treat yourself to a decent variety of small candies. You can always store the leftovers for your next batch!

3) Add the candy while the popcorn is warm

5) While Chick Flicks are definitely not required, it's not Chick Flick salad if the movie doesn't leave you feeling good. Save your thought-provoking, dark, depressing foreign films for Hummus and carrot sticks or something!

6) Include LOTS of people, and keep the tradition spreading!

UPDATE: I just looked at my Timehop after posting this and found that I introduced my husband to Chick Flick Salad 1 year ago today!

What will YOUR candy choices be when you make it?

Mac N' Cheetos: Burger King

When I saw a commercial for the new, limited time Burger King Mac n' Cheetos, I knew I had to try it for you, my readers- take one for the team.

If you haven't seen the commercials for yourself, this new menu item from the Kingdom of Burgers is advertised as a Cheeto made of macaroni and cheese, coated in Cheeto dust.

Here's the thing. I LOVE Cheetos. They are, without hyperbole, my favorite chips. I also have a deeply profound appreciation for macaroni and cheese, particularly its ability to enhance almost anything it's added to. I have successfully attempted the Mac n' Cheese Waffle Burger (let me know in the comments if you want a blog about it!), & recently had a divine experience with a mac n' cheese stuffed grilled cheese sandwich. 

So I actually held some wary optimism that this could be a successful melding of two cheesy favorites.

No such luck. For only a few more weeks, and a measly $2.50, you, too can simultaneously experience the sensation of sinking your bicuspids into a hot-yet-completely-congealed thumb sculpted from Velveeta, and licking a Cheeto-dust callous off the same thumb the likes of which can only be achieved by eating an entire family-sized bag of Cheetos with the same two fingers in one sitting without a single napkin wipe.

I'll give His Beefy Highness credit for this, these barely edible monstrosities do achieve a striking resemblance to unnervingly dense Puff Cheetos, though the seam along the outer curves bring to mind several week-old surgical scars I've had the misfortune of seeing.

The thing that sets these stubby non-appendages apart from other, more appetizing fried cheese sticks, other than the vibrantly unnatural hue of orange and the unmistakable salty flavor of processed Cheez-food, is that the cooked macaroni lends a mushy solidness that causes these dusty doodles from Hades to have the unmelted texture of not just cold Velveeta, but the distinct al dente of melted and re-congealed cold Velveeta, even when they're piping hot straight from the fryer. 

If you want to be a true and total foodie, it isn't just the unique, delicious, exotic, and gourmet food experiences that will get you your streetfood cred. There are some items on the foodie bucket list, such as Durian fruit, that you need to experience just for the sake of saying you have. I'm not saying you should try this, but I'm going to place the Burger King Mac N' Cheetos in that category to convince myself it was worth it. 

Who knows, though? If you have a secret thrill in sucking the Cheeto-dust crust off your fingers when you finish a bag, this might just be the perfect snack for you.

Tomatillo Tortilla Soup- Healthy Food For Picky People

Today I'm featuring the first recipe I invented after I got married, and it's become a long-term favorite. The thing I love most about this recipe is that it's so light, bright, and flavorful, it's delicious during summertime- but it's still a hearty, satiating hot soup, so works in all seasons. 

I created it with picky people in mind, taking care to eliminate the vegetable chunks and unwelcome textures that many children and picky adults don't like, and incorporating hiding places for powerful vitamins and greenery to add their goodness without turning off the kiddos. While it's a healthy green hue, you can sell it to your persnickety offspring by calling it "Hulk" soup, and the pop of lime should win them over if they give it that first taste. 

SOUP:
- 2 lbs tomatillos
- 2 cups chicken broth
- 2-5 chicken breasts (frozen is fine)
-several large handfuls whatever greens are on sale (you can use spinach, kale, or even mixed greens)
- 1-2 limes
- 1/2 bunch cilantro
- 3-6 fresh jalapenos

GARNISH
- sour cream or creme fresche
- Fresh Avocados
- tortilla chips or toasted tortillas of your choice
- Optional: fried or caramelized onions

NOTE there is no salt. You won't need it! Seriously trust me. Even if you use low sodium broth you will NOT miss the salt. In fact, I have used plain water when I realized halfway through making this that I was out of broth, and it was so flavorful on its own I may continue to make it that way!

INSTRUCTIONS
- Roast washed tomatillos & jalapeno halves with the seeds removed in a skillet, occasionally turning them until the skin begins to blister and blacken (Note: this soup really is not very spicy at all. If you want it spicy, add the seeds from the jalapenos, and/or a few fresh jalapenos for heat. You can also add cilantro if you'd like.)
- Throw half of the tomatillos, half of the jalapenos, half the cilantro, and a large handful of the greens into a blender and liquify. Add some chicken broth to the blender if the juice from the tomatillos is not sufficient to totally liquify all the contents
- Dump the delicious green liquid into the crock pot
- Liquify the remaining tomatillos, Jalapenos, and greens and add to the crock pot
- Add the chicken breasts, the remaining chicken broth, the juice of the lime(s) and jalapeno seeds if you like it spicy- if you don't include the seeds, the roasted jalapenos really don't make it very spicy at all.
- cook on low while you're at work or on High if you have less time
- shred cooked chicken with two forks and add it back to the liquid

- slice the avocados and toast your tortillas
- serve each bowl with a dollop of sour cream or creme fresche, 2-3 slices of fresh avocado, crispy or caramelized onions, and crispy strips of tortilla.

 I LOVE the addition of the sweet, caramelized onion strings, or crispy, crunchy fried onion strings. It adds an unctuous umame flavor. I'm serious about no salt, too- between the sour cream, the broth, the sour lime and tomatillo, and the spicy cilantro and jalapenos, your taste buds will have plenty to focus on. This makes this recipe incidentally heart and blood pressure friendly, without tasting like something originally unhealthy that was altered beyond recognition to make it good for you. That's the kind of "improvements" I try to avoid in my kitchen.

Try it out and let me know how it works out for you in the comments! Did you add anything? Leave anything out? What's your favorite part? How did your picky dinner guests like it? I'm up to the challenge!

Crossroads Diner

Check out their Website Here                                                                            Map Here

I've been hearing about Crossroads Diner for over a year each morning on my way to school, because they advertise using personal testimony ads given by the Deejays on the local talk station (570AM). Let me tell you, those testimonials would persuade a drowning man to buy a bottled water from Crossroads Diner. So when my husband told me he wanted to take me on a breakfast date, I picked Crossroads.

The decor is an example of what seems to be becoming standard for back-to-basics-done-really-well gourmet American fare; clean, industrial, with interesting, artistic light fixtures and semi-thematic bric-a-brak on the walls. For what it is, however, Crossroads Diner's decor excels in its category.

My husband and I ordered quickly, and while I was curious to try something a little more unique from their menu, I've learned that the true test of a great breakfast establishment is how well they do the staples, especially eggs. So I ordered the sausage, eggs, and cheese grits, which came with a biscuit and gravy, and my husband tried out the Crossroads Special of Cinnamon Pecan bread pudding french toast. 

Even while we waited for our food, I was excited to see the accouterments plate arrive, because I had heard many times in the commercial that Crossroads makes everything from scratch, even their jams! There is something to be said for marketing that makes your patrons excited to see their butter and jam arrive before they even have anything to put it on. 

When our meals arrived, my plate looked about as one would expect; eggs, grits, gravy and biscuits can only look so many ways. But the sausage was clearly a homemade patty, and upon tasting it it was clear that it was Crossroads' own special sausage. The grits hit a perfect balance of garlic and white cheddar cheese, with a texture of rougher, larger grits than many places offer. When I say a perfect balance, I mean it- in fact, if I had realized the "cheese grits" were garlicky I probably wouldn't have ordered them, because I have had my face explode with over-seasoned, garlicky grit bombs too many times. But at Crossroads, the garlic did what it was supposed to do- it amplified the savoriness of the cheddar and accompanied the lovely al dente of the grits without seizing a starring role on my palate.

The final and true test was the eggs, which were just barely on the easy side of over medium- still within acceptable range to classify as medium, but perhaps a tad runnier than perfection. Not bad for a full dining room in my experience. My repeated comments on the biscuits was that for that particular dish, it felt like there should have been two. This was in part because I both wanted to make a sausage biscuit and wanted to try the famous homemade jams, and not because the meal lacked a nice balance of protein and starch. Still, it's a high complement when people look at a full plate of satiating food and wish for a bit more! I split the biscuit in half and indulged anyway, and both jams delivered on all expectations.

The bread pudding french toast with whipped cream was an irresistible special that day, but I'll preface my description by saying that after working in the food industry, I've learned to be a bit cautious when ordering a daily special. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but specials go either one of two ways: On one hand, they might just be the chef's whim or inspiration, possibly born out of the abundant availability of seasonal ingredients. On the other, particularly with daily soups, quiches, omelettes, and bread puddings, they offer a chef a means to re-purpose excess ingredients or items from the previous day. (Bread pudding is best made from less-than-fresh breads & pastries). So I expected the bread pudding to be likely comprised of leftover sticky buns from earlier in the week. The thing is, I was pleased to find I was probably right! Crossroads Diner is known for their made-from-scratch pastries, particularly their hot sticky buns, and bread pudding is one of my favorite things. The bread budding was excellent. The whipped cream was a tad overwhipped, so that my husband thought it was a frosting or a pudding, but it's a very minor error and even made it easier to spread on the toast. One thing I will note is that in the bites I stole from his plate, I did find a raisin- if you're squeemish about surprise bits of fruit in your breakfast, take note! My husband also got eggs and chorizo as his sides, and the chorizo again seemed to be made in-house.

Finally, I ordered a croissant. I did not ask to confirm this, but the Crossroads Diner advertisements all said that everything is made from scratch, and as a trained pastry chef, I know that a mark of a true food artist's skill is his ability to make any croissant, muchless a good one.

It was flaky, airy, buttery, and fresh. I wondered if I should have tried their famous sticky bun instead until I bit into the croissant, and all doubts melted away.

Like many diners, you pay at the front register, and have an opportunity to take home some of the Crossroads fare for your own use at home.

So check it out! It's worth trying- and let me know what you try and what you think in the comments! Let me know if the famous sticky bun is worthy of its hype!

Wendy's (Yes Really)

View which location to avoid here

On a particularly budget-tight day toward the end of my #EmptyPantryChallenge, my husband, our friend, and I decided to patronize the Wendy's in our neighborhood. I might have been a bit more excited about the idea, except the handful of times I've used their drive through in the past, I've noticed that several employees in the kitchen have beautifully manicured, painted nails. Those of you who haven't worked in food service, (and some who have, probably) may not understand why this is gross; aren't manicured nails better than dirty hands?

Perhaps. But nails with polish have no place in an industrial kitchen. It can and will eventually flake off, spreading bacteria, not to mention the prospect of ingesting a stranger's nail polish is pretty gross to me anyway, and I've witnessed the discovery of someone's fake nail on a plate that's been served twice too many times. Still, it's probably the most commonly overlooked food safety regulation, and if I eliminated establishments based solely on that I would have a depressingly short list of options. I may, however, start a ranking system in future reviews, bonus points added if all visible food handling staff have bare nails.

Most of the time, I actually really like Wendy's. The menu is reasonably varied yet limited enough that the quality doesn't usually suffer (I'm looking at you, Jack In The Box), and the prices make it an easy choice when my budget is tight and I don't have the option of home cooking. This review is of the particular location, which is consistently lackluster in its service and quality.

The first omen of the experience to come was the soda machine. I generally really enjoy the sleek, fancy LED display soda distributors that allow you to select several flavors of a wide variety of sodas. However, when I selected the Dr Pepper option and began to fill my cup, I noticed that it was spraying a dark, sludgy black liquid to the right of my cup as it filled the cup. It may have been soda syrup, but not only does a leak like that affect the delicate soda-water-to-syrup ratio, it was also much darker and thicker in appearance than most soda syrups. I also discovered a large, growing puddle of a similar liquid on the floor at the base of the machine.

We received our food, and I immediately noticed that I had received normal nuggets instead of the spicy ones I had ordered. This has happened before, and it's an easy mistake to make, however when I brought my nuggets up to the counter to ask for spicy ones, the staff rolled their eyes and said it would have to be a wait while they fried up a fresh batch. It was apparent that they had run out of spicy nuggets and had decided to give me normal nuggets, hoping I would just eat them and they wouldn't have to make a new batch of the spicy. This was allthemore apparent when i returned to my table and my friend pointed out that his spicy nuggets were cold, dry, and tasted like they'd been cooked much earlier in the day- the end of the batch. I'll point out it was about 7:30 in the evening, not right before closing or something, so even in all fairness this was lazy.

They fried up some fresh spicy nuggets, which I shared with my friend, and then he decided to go order some of the new "Baconator" fries.

We should have quit while we were behind.

The fries were cold, the cheese unmelted, the bacon... unnervingly limp, like scraps of greasy fabric laid over a mound of perfectly in tact, rubbery American cheese shreds.

I give this location a 2/10, as my husband had no complaints about his burger.